Weathering the Storm with the WP#97

It has been a week since I have been back stateside, and I am realizing more and more that I do not want to be here. It was, as you know, very hard to leave this last time from Europe and each time I leave, another piece of my heart is left there. Don’t get me wrong, I am still proud to be an American, and question sometimes, however, what the best move is, but at the same time, I know what it is. I am conflicted right now, yet, know what I need to do, and I need to go through the process and be patient. Jetlag this week was more impactful than most returns and this may have been due to essentially starting back at the Christmas Tree Shop a couple of days after I returned. I was not physically, nor mentally prepared for this, so maybe why this mini rant. Who knows?

It may sound like I am frustrated, and I guess I am in a way. I am excited for the new year and what it will bring, but I must get through this lull and these winter blues, I am feeling right now, and winter has not even officially started. It did snow a little last night here in New Hampshire, and it looks nice. I admittingly go through this every year, and yes, I have much to look forward to, moving forward into 2023, but right now, these next few weeks, will be tough for me. I am so glad that I have projects for my valued clients to work on and business is good, and I will be visiting the old man in California for several days to break up the routine, so that is nice thing. I also have never been a rah, rah, kind of guy when it comes to the holiday season, but certainly do appreciate the well wishes of clients. colleagues and friends. ​

I know this blog should be upbeat, and generally it is, having had an amazing 5 weeks in Europe, culminating with my time with Rosa, which drives me and motivates me and loved every minute.  I was so glad to share those experiences which were amazing across the board. I have always tried to be there for my clients, my colleagues, and friends when they are down, and always will be, specially during the Covid pandemic and beyond, especially with all the events of 2022 and clients of mine who ended up having issues, health wise before and during travel. I believe in that kind of support and being there for them is truly part of who I am and why I continue to be passionate about what I do. ​

Right now, however, I feel an emptiness that I have not felt in a very long time. Yes, I have a place to stay and yes, I can afford to do things, so I am not in a bad way, and I know that others are in a worse place than I am, but it feels good to say, hey, I am also going through rough patches, like everyone else. Maybe it will help others also, during this time of year, or anytime, for that matter. It is just a feeling that a part of me is missing and coming up on 3 years of knowing Rosa in a couple of months and not being there with her in person hurts. Perhaps, if I were there, I would feel different and I know, as she always says, be it 5000 km apart, we are still together. It is true and I believe it, but it does not make it any easier.
And sometimes, yesterday, especially, it was very hard. Instead of diving into my work, which is always good for me, to keep my mind off not being with her, I basically did nothing. In one way, it was good. I was relaxing, but for me, an idle mind is not a good thing. Today, and the next few days, I have many projects, and then back to the tree, so I will be busy and know I have deadlines that need to be addressed. I am very glad to have these projects, as I look forward to making my clients very happy in their future travels, so they can explore the world in their own way, as I have done, in my own. I know I will make it through these next few weeks, and I have much, as I previously said, to look forward to in the new year, which will be shared as these events come to fruition. For now, I will try to focus on what makes me happy and makes me productive and minimize the frustrations I am having right now. It is good be alive and in love with someone, even though she and I are across the ocean from each other. Thank you for your support of my crazy little world and of my small business. It is truly appreciated, and as always, I am interested in your thoughts, comments, questions and adding to the discourse is always appreciated be in on the site itself or on Facebook, Twitter or wherever you read this.