We have reached the 3rd week of October and have lived in our place since Saturday. We have had a couple of home cooked meals and things seem to be coming together. We did have a functioning bathroom and still do, only with cold water as our new hot water heater is not functioning, so for all of you homeowners, I now understand and feel your pain. We are supposed to have it replaced, given it is brand new and we expect that to happen today, so not too many delays. There have been worse. We are now sleeping in our bed, just not in the bedroom, but hope that happens by this weekend and our sleeper sofa, still under plastic was delivered yesterday. Until the bedroom is done, it will stay way, as Rosa and I have to design our living/dining room, finding a dining room table and chairs, a nice light/ceiling fan combination and other pieces. It will also be my office area, so somehow get a small desk, but we are home. We also had an important meeting with an immigration lawyer last week and he essentially said, we are on the right track, but a couple of pieces were missing, but also told Rosa, she must push past the initial “no” here, “no” there from the bureaucrats, as the bureaucrats don’t know the laws and ask to speak to the right people and not accept “no” for an answer. I should have had residency by now, as I am married to an Italian and I should not have to pay customs duty on my shipped items, when they are shipped, as I will have residency, but one step at a time. We hope to open an Italian bank account this week. The bad news, we had to cancel (or perhaps postpone) our trip to Poland, as the Schengen rules still apply. I can stay here, I can go back to America and as a resident, I can return here to Italy according to the lawyer, but anywhere else, right now until I get the appropriate documentation, I am still a prisoner here in Italy. The ramification of staying is that I also may have to start paying Italian taxes, but that is another matter for later when we speak to an accountant who can handle both sides of the pond. Baby steps, but we feel better about the situation compared to last week.
As travels go, the last of my clients traveling to Italy for this year is coming to an end, as the clients who were recently up in Florence are now in Milan and headed stateside soon and the other two couples are headed to the Amalfi before they end in Rome later this week. I do have other clients leaving for Greece in a few days and next month, to the Czech Republic and then others leaving for other destinations such as South America, Australia, and New Zealand very soon with new projects already in progress for 2025 and others just started including several to Italy next year. Remember that next year, here in Rome, there is the Jubilee, so plan accordingly, if you are planning on coming to the Eternal City or Italy in general. Certainly, able to assist with those plans or any others and distance is not a problem. The most important thing for this week, or perhaps, today, as you know that I tend to overlap the happenings of the past week with things happening into the new week. I suppose it makes sense, giving this is hump day, or the middle of the week. The real reason is that my admin who does the behind-the-scenes work has today to do just that, but that is neither here nor there. The real reason why today is most important, is today the first anniversary of the passing of my birth father, Kenn Gartner who would have been 86 years old, this past September. I remember as clear as day when I received the call from Nora, his wife, that he had died. I still can’t believe it, a year later, as there are days when I want to pick up the phone and say hi, and hear his repeated stories, even in the same conversation. I know each time when I spoke to him, it could be the last, but it happened so suddenly and without notice, so there was really no reason to think this. He did not have any ailments as such which lingered, so I know he died peacefully in his chair at his desk. That is where Nora saw him when she came home. Of course, the police had come over, verified natural causes etc. I can just imagine how Nora felt when she came home. I know how I felt from 3000 miles (5000 km) away up in New Hampshire. However, I did at every moment from when I first had my last name changed at age twelve from Gartner to Bachrach, in family court, and not my choice, but I had no choice, to the times I would go to the nearest pay phone, as a teenager, and ask the operator for the number, then ask that person to the dial the number, never connecting, but getting the answering machine, but not leaving a message, as I did not have a callback number, to the time, finally, when I had my own place, my own landline and answering machine, called, left a message and on that fateful day, some 40 years ago, getting a callback, speaking with him. I let him know that I was coming to New York; that is where he lived at the time, to find a cooking job, so we arranged a meeting and as they say, the rest is history. I told the story before that when we finally met on the streets of Soho and had time together at the Wine Bar there for several hours, I knew that I had come full circle. Some of the questions were answered right there and then, and while not all were answered, and will never be answered, regardless of the stories told and while not a perfect relationship, throughout the 40 + years, I know that if I had not tried to find Kenn, to get closure in my early 20’s, having all the struggles throughout all of my teenage years, I do not know where I would be now. I know I wrote a long piece about him and what he was about, as I knew him over 40+ years. Again, he is not the one who raised me, as he was not around for whatever reason, never to be known as I had heard all the stories. Only in my heart do I know that finding him at around age 20 + as an adult, was I able to find some closure as the family, with only one exception, essentially did not want me to know from a very early age. They wanted to wipe that memory from my mind, but since I look like him and in some ways acted like him, being a thorn in many family member’s sides, even though I had very little knowledge of his existence, since age 3, I needed to know and the fact that the family, with the exception of one aunt, who was, an outsider, did not want me to pursue this. There are certain times in one’s life that are the most impactful, and meeting Kenn for the first time as an adult, was definitely one of them. It has been one year since he died and there is not a day that I do not think of him, consciously or unconsciously. You touched my life in more ways that you know and the fact that you accepted me into your life at that point, allowed me peace in a way. If you had not, which is not the case, you did, but that is not for this discussion, and we had a long and storied relationship from that first meeting to the time, we connected in Paris, on my first solo trip to Europe in 1985, before moving on to other places across Europe for the better part of 2 ½ months and the meetings we had when I came you and Nora in San Rafael on many occasions, to visit in 2022, with Rosa, her first time to America and she getting to meet you and everything in between. I know you were there at our wedding in spirit this past February, even though you were not there in person. I could not have asked for more as you were there when I went through some very bad times as a young adult and were very supportive as I tried to be there when you were going through turmoil in your own life at times, personal or business. I miss you and today, one year, later, more so, especially. Thank you for being a positive presence in my life and when I needed someone for support and help. Until next week, I hope you have enjoyed my offerings and appreciate that you have read my blog posts and look forward to sharing any new and exciting ideas and experiences one can have that the WP can arrange for you.As always, thank you so much for your support of Rosa’s and my crazy little world here in Rome. We truly appreciate your support. Stay safe, healthy, and most importantly happy, and as always, your shared comments and thoughts are most welcome!!! RIP Kenneth Ralph Gartner - We miss you, Rosa, and I. Share the knowledge
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